Mediation as a central life-skill; today's quotes:

1. "Mediation starts for me with how I relate to living where I live, at this point in time, with all that I have been given, all I desire & all I want to avoid. The conflict is accentuated by my placing a particular aspirational picture in my room & believing in a way that I could grow into a better human being".
2. "For me, perhaps the most interesting, growthful, and (retrospectively) valued part of any relationship is when something arises that represents, to either of us, a bigger challenge than one expected, or a different kind of challenge from the ones anticipated."
3. I trust our long-term relationship enough to ask this (sharp?) blunt question: "You're very attached to your ego-centric bulls**t, aren't you? Me too".
4. "Talking about marriage etc - In time, I'd probably prefer it if your strategy to hold onto a belief in your sexual attractiveness did not depend significantly on me. This is because I am easily swayed in seeing superficial sexual attractiveness elsewhere. Now, if you are asking me a question about Loyalty/Fidelity - which apart from in the film, Frida (*below) are usually seen as the same thing - then we can have a useful conversation. What I'd want to clarify is whether Fidelity of Body, Speech and Mind is your bottom-line, or not?"
5. "If you want to start mediating, reflect on one of your relationships in life (be that with someone living, dead or your idealised self & ask: i) What, so far, have we co-created?; ii) What do we like about it?; iii) What have we found more difficult than we like? iv) What change are we asking for?; v) How was 1-4 for you?"
6. "The most 'successful' people in the world are those who get others' support for their activities whilst helping their supporters to be less self-responsible & less caring about a sustainable future. Through this lens my very limited 'success' is no failure. The lens I hold up in awe is that of Dr BR Ambedkar, for whom success would surely have been defined as groups of "downtrodden" people living more harmoniously under the principles of Liberty, Equality & Fraternity (& not their 'near-enemies' from the French Revolution).  (And this is a link to a short talk illustrating how Dr Ambedkar's ideals are being upheld - especially by the empowerment of women in Norhern India- within The Indian Dharma Trust)
7. Some communication is so laden with assumptions and blame statements rather than with clarity & taking responsibility that it can seem an overwhelming task to "detoxify" what was said to you by them (or even what you just said to yourself about yourself - your depression arising from your own destructively critical way of talking to yourself!). How about I help you with that and you help me, or someone else with it too, or with something else that you'd prefer to do that takes as long? (Mediation provided by Mediation Support Ltd on a Timebanking basis: contact me via the web here or phone Zero7807066202)
8. "Your ability to understand me is heavily influenced by your willingness to understand me. Would you be willing/able to find a way to generate that willingness that doesn't involve me doing anything first? Advice on generating empathy is widely available; I have preferred websites for doing that which I could let you know about if you remain stuck."

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