For me, having hit a new wall (or 3) in the last fortnight, to let go of things and live a simpler life is enough work for now.
My provisional decision (arising out of this morning's 'insight') is to let go of all co-ordinator roles. However much I love Chris Johnstone's "Dream Cycle" which emphasises that for personal change it helps to dream, to plan, to do & to review, I have tried to apply it beyond it's limits. My mistake has been to apply this template to community development in such a way that I take on co-ordinator roles (often self-appointed) & push the planning & doing stages beyond my sustainable capacity & beyond any collective ownership; this has been expressed in recent painful criticism as "treating people as pawns in my own game".
What appears to be the healthier approach to take is if I now consciously limit myself to taking just two roles -as a dreamer and as a supporter.
This way I will still hold onto my visions for a more caring & sharing community; I simply acknowledge that trying to push it doesn't work. I give my time to supporting team projects that fit with my values. I offer my dreams in person and on YouTube etc and sometimes they influence people enough to generate some synergy. This synergy theme is one that is in my most popular YouTube film at present. (This film, with well over 7,000 viewers has gone down from having a rating of 95% thumbs up to just 91% in the last week):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a68lTjIpnMI&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Approx 500 viewers a week are presently watching "India, 2nd Most Powerful country by 2036" which involved meeting someone with a synergy dream and raising with him some time-line and human rights issues. My analysis of what is successful in the modest contribution that this big-talking video makes to the world is that it seeks to work with realities and hopes out there, then create additional ideas to support and help structure the plans and developments that are beyond the capacity of those discussing the ideas.
In Hastings I wonder now how the dreaming and supporting will manifest as I work on stepping out of co-ordinating & let the community interest company (Freelending CIC) go.
Feedback, as ever, helpful & usually (at least in the long-term) welcome.
Lots of love,
Paul
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