A bit of my work in photo form

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May everyone be loved well,
Paul
#FreeRange #Buddhist
Tel 0780 70 66 202
From Spring 2014, how will you interact with:
1) The Action For Hastings Happiness 'Pay It Forward' Rickshaw?
2) The Book "No Blame, No Pain (Shades of bad/mad/sad/dangerous to know & how we apply these to self/other)?

PS. How do you want to be loved?
PPS. What's my role in that?
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/my-email-footer-is-here-instead-of-on.html

The Story Behind "Secrets of the Norman Invasion" & copies of the book available from freelender.org

The film of the Story Behind "Secrets of the Norman Invasion" is also now out! I await reviews from my Historian friend, personal biographer, Queen's employee and friend of 30+ years, Chris : http://youtu.be/1tmrEzLn7Vk
All feedback as welcome as I am can make myself open to.




If you don't like what I do try http://CommunicatingNeeds.org or do you know a better way for someone who wants a heart-to-heart with you (or vica versa)? If it's not communication from and positively to the heart you want, what theory of trying to / wanting to change people's behaviour do you work from & does it really work?
How about ApologyPlus - more than sorry ?

Love from Paul
#FreeRange #Buddhist #2066

+ Action For Hastings Happiness 'Pay It Forward' Rickshaw 'Captain'
& servant of the (WisdomCompassion?) machine that http://YouTube.com/toothpaste007 aspires to be for the world
(beyond my consciousness)
The latest of 2,000+ YouTube films from Paul Crosland:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUUqx0gIWHhZZ7iMzSQQ5FeA
OR
Do you prefer to connect more straight-forwardly? :
Tel 0780 70 66 202

PS. How do you want to be loved?
PPS. What's my role in that?
PPPS. My preferred ways of co-creating a "more caring and sharing
community" around you me and us is on my home page:
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk
(I like to be loved by people subscribing to the YouTube Channel $. Giving feedback on the output from my Playfully Serious Community Development heart.)
& what you can expect from me is here:
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/my-email-footer-is-here-instead-of-on.html

*"Of course, there's nothing wrong with being wrong", by which I mean that there is no fixed moral value attached to making mistakes. They are what they are - not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Also - from an F.M. Alexander perspective it is by ‘being wrong’ that we break habits and discover the flow of life.

You can lead a horse to water

...but you can't make it drink



My "bleeding heart" experience of how people "communicate" when their emotions are running high is that e.g. I will show e.g. competitiveness in how I use words and body. If in dialogue anyone seeks to win or make anyone (morally) wrong, we all lose.

I'm specifically interested in assumptions made about the wrong* that is the judgement any of us make when we think that someone else's communication style is dysfunctional.



























What intrigues me about being on the IMPACTFUL receiving end of the phrase "BAD communicator" is the hidden implicit assumptions about my intentions?
What does the other person presume I'm trying to do in using my mind, body & speech how I choose to use them?

From there we can then unfold what pain lies behind the strategy of making the other wrong for expressing their concerns/values/needs in the best way they can access at the time.

I dearly love to work with others who are committed to:
"identifying one's communication conditioning,
changing the pattern so that needs are (imaginatively) brought to a head, assumptions carefully checked and the concept of self responsibility is deeply embodied."

MY REQUESTS ARE

1) Will you try out the on-line empathy process I co-created on CommunicatingNeeds.org and/or it's first sister site: ApologyPlus.org.uk ? - and/or read the GRIEVANCE POLICY that Hastings Pier Charity (under the name HPWRT) commissioned Mediation Support Ltd (of which I am the Director) to write - see the tab on hastingsjustice.blogspot.co.uk & send me feedback today?

2) Would you like to join me in one to one or group sessions looking at our communication on a journey to a form of communication that is freed from most of the win-lose or compromise assumptions of the "domination culture"?

3) and/or please send me a full account of what's there for you in terms of unease, grudges and fears at present and I will respond to your written words or video of your concerns in such a way that will be astoundingly different from the poverty you may perceive in directly talking to me.

A strong sense of what it might take to get on the same page but a whole wiser and more compassionate realm of interconnection is implicit in the following background links that relate to work (to be repeated on request) with an international level trainer in "The Dialogue Road Map".
This training by. Maria Arpa was last delivered in Hastings & St Leonards on the the 9th-11th September 2011. Amongst those invitees who attended and valued the training as essential was the chair of the Hastings Pier Charity, Ray Chapman who you'll hear recommending it on:
ActionForHastingsHappiness.blogspot.co.uk/p/national-importance-of-hastings-and-st.html & And is this page relevant too?
Please also look at:
actionforhastingshappiness.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/maria-arpa-on-fairness-dialogue-road.html

To practice a less well developed version of communicating via the four steps of making an OBSERVATION, expressing a FEELING, linking the feeling to a causal NEED & making a REQUEST:
1) My observation is that I've had less than 3 hours sleep
2) I'm feeling raw
3) The needs/values I'm in touch with are peace, harmony, acceptance of difference?, (joy in diversity?), learning/wisdom, ease, friendship, challenge & break-through beyond all the previous failures.
4) My request is that you watch at least part one of Maria Arpa's video about the fairness button that is easily triggered within each of us. Could you, within a week, let me know if you'd like some interaction with Maria Arpa by phoning me on 0780 70 66 202 and then we can clarify how we might get more of what we want from Maria and, like with everyone else, less of what we don't want or don't believe serves our (higher) interests well.
*********
My parting advice to stay connected with someone is to avoid the "3 Ds of disconnection" :
1) Deserve-based language
2) Demand
3) Denial of Responsibility

There's a 4th D but I've forgotten it. Time for some humility around what I don't know in terms of effective strategies to bring people into NVC (nonviolent communication), or at least into mutual comprehension.

May everyone be loved well,
Paul
#FreeRange #Buddhist

+ Action For Hastings Happiness 'Pay It Forward' Rickshaw 'Captain'
& servant of the (WisdomCompassion?) machine that YouTube.com/toothpaste007 aspires to be for the world
(beyond my consciousness)
The latest of 2,000+ YouTube films from Paul Crosland: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUUqx0gIWHhZZ7iMzSQQ5FeA
OR
Do you prefer to connect more straight-forwardly? :
Tel 0780 70 66 202

PS. How do you want to be loved?
PPS. What's my role in that?
PPPS. My preferred ways of co-creating a "more caring and sharing
community" around you me and us is on my home page:
additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk
& what you can expect from me is here:
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/my-email-footer-is-here-instead-of-on.html
*"Of course, there's nothing wrong with being wrong", by which I mean that there is no fixed moral value attached to making mistakes. They are what they are - not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Also - from an F.M. Alexander perspective it is by ‘being wrong’ that we break habits and discover the flow of life.

Location:Quarry Hill,Hastings,United Kingdom

Dear Friends & Family & those to whom I try to be more friendly (i.e.everyone)

At last a credible account of the financial future has fallen into my lap and so I share it.

Money Week Promotion and Fair Warning of What's to come that the Politicians and most Media hide/deny

I read as far as the "Wealth Preservation Plan" and realised that Money Week was not taking it's share of responsibility for the causes of the problem - obsession with money (to quote my sister's accusation against me) outweighing the interest in how we build "more caring and sharing communities" through brilliant breakthroughs like Prof Heinz Wolff's "Care4Care.mov" YouTube film shows. My interview with him is longer and noisier but relevant and filmed at the HQ of my former funders, the National Endowment for Science Technology and the Arts (NESTA). I could like this article, cite the evidence of the credibility of my recommendations. One of these is that Forum for the Future (the leading environmental think tank) recognised the work I was doing with Edmund Johnson (we co-direct Freelending CIC) as "years ahead of it's time in preparing for the future economy".
This is a time when religious communities are key and no model appears as strong (theoretically and in my lived experience) as the Triratna Buddhist movements vision of the New Society. Sadly, many of the team based right livelihoods have worked on consumerist economics as their foundation rather than "collaborative consumption" or it's overdue successors of sustainable local communities where street by street dialogue takes places about resource needs and consumption,right down to the difficult (but far less painful than social unrest) questions of how many cars do we need, how many children etc. OK, how are we going to get/share them?
Yes, maybe I've crossed a threshold in asking my questions this way about how we are caring for the elderly etc - ideally through a new growth of Team Based Right Livelihoods that are working with the following life-saving ideas:
1)"consecutive consumption" as preferable to the "ethical dumping" of freecycle /charity shops etc
2) Timebanking
3) Care4Care as a strategy to save the NHS by the community stepping up the plate and meeting our family/neighbours care needs.

If you are interested in this further much relevant material is on this blog (in other posts and pages/links on the left). Much more is actually available if you work with me in Hastings/London/SE England on leafleting and person to person dialogue (inspired by my 6months as a Karuna Doorknocker) about the pressing need for us to learn from India etc about how to live a (better?) life for less money by boosting community in the most challenging ways to our British Reserve. Hiding in our castles (or trying to build them financially) is what really spells the end for Britain.

IT'S TIME TO BUILD BRIDGES RATHER THAN WALLS.
PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO AUSTERITY BY CHOOSING SCAPEGOATS OR BEING OVER-Simplistically AGAINST IMMIGRATION etc







Kind regards
Paul
(Tel 0780 7066202)
#FreeRange #Buddhist AKA The Imperfect Idealist AKA Man of Shirts' 2.
(My work can be summed up as Community Development; I do a lot of this on my own).
Formally "Lend-It-All Man".
Integrally YouTube Channel toothpaste007:
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/my-email-footer-is-here-instead-of-on.html

& a guitar masterclass from John Casey, Katrineholm, Sweden in "If I were a carpenter" by Tim Hardin:
http://youtu.be/C0LxonzVTjg

Paul Crosland Ego Project Status

(NB This is a direct link to the above video http://youtu.be/MvKmUu6dXAI)




Please explore the relevance of ApologyPlus.org.uk to your life. (According to my research in one classroom alone 88% of the students wanted apologies from someone at any given time.)
or would you prefer to engage with the wisdom and compassion you can cultivate on communicatingneeds.org instead?

Location:Hastings,United Kingdom

This is NOT the first Action for Hastings and St Leonards Happiness blog

Action for Hastings and St Leonards Happiness has been active since the 12th April 2012 national launch of Action for Happiness

Thank you for visiting here. Have you liked us on Facebook yet?

Do you know about the 24th April 2014 launch of this service at no charge:







If you want to visit the established Action for Hastings and St Leonards Happiness blog that here: actionforhastingshappiness.blogspot.co.uk

[default blog footer]
May everyone be loved well,
Paul
#FreeRange #Buddhist
Tel 0780 70 66 202
From Spring 2014, how will you interact with:
1) The Action For Hastings Happiness 'Pay It Forward' Rickshaw?
2) The Book "No Blame, No Pain (Shades of bad/mad/sad/dangerous to know & how we apply these to self/other)?

PS. How do you want to be loved?
PPS. What's my role in that?
http://additionalinfo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/my-email-footer-is-here-instead-of-on.html

No Blame, No Pain by Paul Crosland

New Book/Essay Cover : "No Blame, No Pain"here
90 second film with book cover designer: http://youtu.be/lYPFTjA0lGE
Other quick plugs: http://www.apologyplus.blogspot.co.uk.
+ ApologyPlus.org.uk

Still growing, even though I've taken these two websites off-line. (Phone me on Zero780 7066202 instead)

Offer to Neighbours - Draft leaflet awaits your feedback

Is there anything you, or a neighbour, need help with?

Would something you're doing be easier with a bit of support?

Do you get all the moral support and practical support you could possibly get to handle the difficulties of your life and make the best of it?

COULD YOU USE A FREE HOUR, OR MORE, OF MY TIME?

I guess you now have some questions too. Like:
      1) Who is offering you and your neighbours support?
      2) What do they have that could make a worthwhile difference?
      3) What's in it for them?

So, how are you going to get answers to your questions?
A) By ringing Paul Crosland on 07807066202 and, if he doesn't answer, maybe leaving a message?
B) By waiting for him to come back and then having a conversation with him about who he works for and with and what the full range is of what he and his friends/colleagues are offering?
C) ?

Or will this be your internal dialogue as a way of responding to Paul's latest attempt to co-create a "more caring and sharing community" around you?:

Your words?:
"Firstly, I'm not very open to change, even if it's for the better. I want to stay in my 'comfort zone', even though I may be missing out on support or friendship that could transform my life or the life of those I care about.
So I have to find a reason to put this opportunity down, and I'll do that by reaching into the depths of my mistrust of others and the world.
As what I'm being offered brings up my fear of the unknown, it must either have a catch in it or it is bound to be problematic in some way.
Thus I will resist further communication with whoever it was who gave their time to get their offer to me and my neighbours.
I want to be left alone, now and forever."

Is that what's going on for you? Or are you just too busy for this?
Please text "Yes, No, or Maybe/Sort Of/Busy" to Paul Crosland on 07807066202.
To help us use our time better, your address too, whether your reply is on behalf of the whole household, and maybe your name?

We welcome any other feedback you are kind enough to give us about this initiative.

Heinz Meanz Care4Care.mov

Guesstimate the percentage of people around you who are....

- Time Rich and Money Poor?

- Money Rich and Time Poor?

- Time Poor and Money Poor?

- Money Rich and Time Rich?

How would you encourage people to better use their time/money to co-create a more caring and sharing community?

How about this approach to addressing the unevenness that creates so much (relative) misery?:

"No more do you have to save up for so many consumer items, the things you want and need are increasingly on streetbank.com or, for those not using the internet for sharing, People are now getting to meet their neighbours more and daring to ask to borrow stuff and help each other. Wonderful news, as long as it's done responsibly."

Skills get traded and new skills learned through your local Timebank. 

This is how people can afford to get services from others that they couldn't before:

1) the philosophy is "your hour is as valuable as my hour" 

2) you don't have to find a direct swap of services; the timebank broker finds creative ways you can earn your timebank hours, including for attending community meetings and delivering these leaflets or doing what you most love to do for others. 

3) It's easier to earn timebank credits than you think.

I'm particularly interested to hear from you:

1) a view you have about your local community 

2) something you'd like someone to offer to you

3) a skill you'd like to develop 

4) a grief or grievance you have?

5) your first name (& first letter of your surname?)

6) your photo?

#CommunityDevelopment sayings

STREETBANK:

I'd like to make it easier for people to get hold of tools and DVDs and books and transport and party items on our street without buying them. That's only half of why I streetbank; the rest is all the wonderful connections and unexpected benefits that come from knowing neighbours better. (http://streetbank.com)

TIMEBANK:

I like what you do and I'd like some hours of your time, please. Do you #timebank and what is it that you want our timebank to do (for you)? I love how the Timebank events build local skills whilst banking hours that go to serve marginalised members of the community. Thus we prevent evictions, boost family life and direct where there is need the energy of the surplus hours we accidentally create just by doing what we love to do with others.(http://stleonardstimebank.blogspot.co.uk/)

CARE4CARE:

It's likely that I'll be older in the not too distant future and in need of help with shopping, cooking, caring in order to be fairly independent in the home I have. I timebank Care4Care hours and thus become a shareholder in Freelending Community Interest Company, in which I now have a vested interest to ensure this care service (that wonderful Heinz Wolff devised) rolls down from generation to generation.

more caring and sharing community

Enrich your life thus?

1) Put your books, DVDs, Skills to share etc on streetbank.com

2) Make new connections and share your sharing stories at freelenders.blogspot.co.uk

3) Let Paul Crosland ("#FreeRange #Buddhist" & "Lend-It-All Man") know what items/skills you want to be able to borrow through streetbank.com rather than buy anything ever again?, like the "Moneyless Man" has managed for 3 years now.

Less ambitiously, perhaps just share your book "wish list" or list the tools needed for some repairs; food, rent and care for the elderly/"needy" are longer term ambitions to be provided by timebanking.

4) Dare to dream of living a better quality, more connected life that costs you less and together we'll co-create the more caring & sharing community around us.

Meanwhile, if you want a taste of the Buddhist (and Pagan) Enquiry /practice driving my contribution to this work  prepare to find it confusing and esoteric: